We Are Our Worst Critic…

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Within the last 3 months or so, I’ve gained at least 20 lbs. It could be a combination of my medical issues –  Hypothyroidism. My Hysterectomy  – Note to self: Make appointment to have levels checked since I’m on hormonal medication. My not eating healthy which includes my addiction to soda at times. Not exercising…

Previously to my taking note of my weight gain, I was already feeling down in the dumps as I have never been this overweight before. However, I’ve never been one to shy away from taking pictures and posting them (online), regardless as to what I’m wearing. When it comes to wearing certain clothing in public – now. Not happening! No sir reeeee!!!

I’d bought a pretty swimsuit at Wal-Mart awhile back. I wore it to take a picture in  and then only wore the top out. I have NEVER worn a bikini (the bottom) before (let alone in public) but I bought this particular swimsuit that has it. I kept telling myself that I was going to step out of my comfort zone (eventually) and wear it in public. That time came over the weekend when the hubster and I went down to the pool to swim.

I recently did a semi-chop to my hair, so excuse the wild hair look *smiling*. Hoping I can stay on this natural hair journey because relaxers seem to be killing my hair.

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Time

It has become (painfully) aware to me that I’m not using my time effectively. Every day I lose about 4 – 5 hours because I’m sleeping. It’s a combination of my medical issues and going to bed late. By the time I wake up (around noon and as late as 2 p.m.) half the day is already gone.

So what does one need to do to change this? Plan!

I will be printing this out to place on fridge

Monday – Friday

  • Make sure to eat breakfast when I fix the hubster his.
  • Do whatever chores need to be done.
  • Zumba on the Xbox
  • Check emails and social media. Respond if necessary.
  • Snack
  • Spend 1 – 2 hours on classwork.
  • Shower
  • Eat lunch
  • Take nap if feeling tired and not feel guilty about it
  • Spend time blogging, working on organization (not giving up on this) reading or anything “fun” that I enjoy doing.
  • Start dinner around 5 p.m, so we can eat between 6 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
  • Watch an episode or 2 of Lost.  Will catch up with Lost in our bedroom on weekends that we have kids 
  • Head to gym around 7:30 p.m. Hoping to do at least 4 times a week
  • Shower after getting home around 8 p.m or shower at gym.
  • Make sure house is tidy before bed
  • Climb into bed to: read, watch a movie or play a board game with the hubster
  • Hoping to be asleep around 10 p.m.

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Not So Randomness!

School is becoming stressful but I’m keeping my eyes on the prize.

My mind is so cluttered right now.  I think I may need Yoga in my life like for real.  Usually when I’m feeling this way it’s because I’m not as close with God as I should be.

A trip the hubster and I had planned for our 4 year wedding anniversary, had to be cancelled. Getting my degree is one of the top priorities for me at the moment. At least he’s had some much needed time off from work. We haven’t killed (figure of speech) each other, so that says a lot. Ha!

Before heading out to dinner to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary. I always notice just how short I am when I stand next to him.

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I’m really loving our apartment and the complex. Now if they’d fix the damn treadmills that are broken, I’d be even happier. We’ve yet to try out the pool but maybe this weekend cause it’s hot than a mutha here in Florida!  The tenants above us though. I swear they have heavy feet cause damn…

I’ve gained 20 lbs in 3 months. I want some answers when I see my doctor on the 14th. I also have some new symptoms that have popped up. One being my need to constantly tinkle.

This year I’ll turn 47 years old. I count my blessings often that I’m still living and breathing because when I look back on my life…

I’m getting back into meal prepping. I HATE to cook and found this site that wont make it so bad to do so. My Body. My Kitchen

I’ve found that I cuss way more than I should since I started college. I’m still a f*cking lady though…LOL! That comedian, Adele Givens, came to mind for some reason as I started typing.

I miss my mom so very much. I still get hit with the reality (even though it’s been almost 3 years since her death) at times that she is no longer here and it’s hard to wrap my head around that.

My vision board

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Back To School

*Click To Enlarge*

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I’ve been trying to complete my degree, well since forever. There has been one thing after another that would force me to take a leave of absence. Those would eventually run out and I’d  end up having to withdraw. Last year it was due to complications after having my hysterectomy.

I decided to re-enroll because at this point in time, I have the opportunity to really focus on my studies. I know I cant predict  when something may happen but it’s a bridge I will cross once I get to it.  Continue reading

Master Bedroom Make-Over…

The apartment we’re currently renting is actually a pretty good size. However, the hubster and I lost our “private” spaces sort of speak. In our last 2 homes, he had a man cave and I could at least use one of our walk in closets as office space.

Here in the apartment, I’m using a tiny closet (still in need of a make-over) and he is using our master bedroom. He is a gamer and I’m not. He originally wanted to have a set-up in the living room to play his games but I just couldn’t see how that would work.  I enjoy watching movies and there’s no way you’d be able to watch and hear what’s on T.V. when there’s the distraction of game playing, especially since he converses with other gamer’s.  So he set up his PS4 in our master bedroom. However, it isn’t ideal at the moment and I’m working to change that because I want him to be comfortable. Continue reading

Finally! A Name To My Disorder…

When I was in middle school, a huge bump/lump developed under my right ear. I remember being so embarrassed and being made fun of it. My parents finally took me to the hospital and all I remember is being told it was some type of (benign) tumor and that I’d need to have surgery to have it removed.

The only memory that I have is waking up in the hospital with this tube placed inside of the incision(opening) under the stitches I had. At the end was a bulb that collected the drainage. Continue reading

On the Day I Die

Sometimes we truly do worry about the wrong things and people. Those things end up robbing us of the precious time we have to enjoy life and those around us…

john pavlovitz

flowers copyOn the die I day a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.   

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always…

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Coming Soon! A New Location (Home well Apartment)

We’ve been at our current spot for the last 7, almost 8 months. You can read about that – here.

I went back and forth on whether we should rent a house (not really interested in buying) or renting an apartment. After much prayer and based on some issues from the past, I chose apartment living – for now.  I started putting in applications at a few locations and was approved for the 1st one I applied to a few days later. Thrilled would be an understatement.

Crazy thing is, I only knew what the floor plan was like via the website and what the apartment actually looked like in the inside by doing searches via Google. I was very pleased by what I saw. One night, the hubster and I did a drive by to check out the location and surroundings. We, especially him, loved the location and it doesn’t hurt that we are near just about everything such as restaurants, the mall, etc. Score!

Monday, I had an appointment with my endocrinologist and after visiting my doctor and eating lunch, the hubster suggested we stop by to see our new apartment (we’re scheduled to move in the middle of the month) and I’m so happy that we did. I’m loving that it has an exercise room that’s open 24 hrs a day, a pool and considering that I’m Black, I don’t think I will need the use of a tanning bed (ha) although I do get some killer tan lines (whistles at myself).  Continue reading

Productive Day Today

I took the time today to respond to emails. I was able to figure out some things for my meet-up next month which I’m super excited and nervous about. My plan, later down the line, is to also include those who have young daughters and/or nieces. I really want these meet-ups to be one of empowerment/encouragement not only for the adults, but the children as well. I didn’t have a mother-daughter relationship (growing up) with my mom in the sense of us sitting down to have (girl) talks or going out for mommy-daughter time. That didn’t happen until I was much, much older.

I had to run to Wal-Mart last night and bought a super comfy skirt and shirt which I will pair with a jacket, since the shirt is basically a tank top. I absolutely love pearl necklaces and as a Southurn girl, you can never have too many. I found a super cute set – earrings and necklace, last night. Tomorrow, I will attempt to do my makeup and hair. I may need to go watch a view videos on Youtube so I don’t end up looking like a clown. Ha!  I’m really excited to start dressing up as an adult. LOL!!

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Now I sit here, wishing that the hubster was home. Even though we’re struggling and pretty much do our own thing when he is here, I like having him close by.  I ordered some pizza, which I’m eating and I’m about to put some papers together to hand out at the meet-up.

Let’s Talk Fashion

I’m the 1st to admit that I have no sense of style. I wear what’s comfortable, even if what I’m wearing doesn’t match or make much sense. I absolutely wish I could live in flip flops, shorts, t-shirts, skirts and dresses.

I’m not much into wearing jeans or heels. With heels, I’m scared that I’m going to fall and bust my ass. However, shoes that have a chunkier heel, I’m o.k. with wearing.  Or, I’m o.k. with high heels if I know I wont be doing too much walking.  With jeans – I’m on the short side, so finding jeans that fit without the need for altering, well – the struggle can be real. But I think I’ve found a store (Ashley Stewart) to solve my dilemma.

Considering I now have an office, I need to start dressing as though I’m going into the office. I came across a page on Facebook (Stylish Eve) a while back and glad that I did because it has made it much easier putting pieces together. I like seeing that jeans can be dressed down or up too, so I will be looking into buying a few pairs and in different colors.

I’m really looking forward to the many changes to come in my “fashion”journey. So far, this is what I’ve come up with…

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