I was reading some news on MSNBC and came across the article about a contestant on – The Biggest Loser – who hadn’t lost any weight but did shed some emotional baggage. I read the article and then watched the video. It brought me to tears. I know all about being abused but not at the hands of my mother though. She has the kindest, most gentle spirit of anyone that I know and Im not just saying that cause Im her daughter. My website – Once Broken – Now Healed – talks about the abuse I suffered. However, it doesn’t really touch on how it affected my life. It doesn’t fully touch on some of the things I did and some of the things I saw.
*Don’t click link if you’ve never seen movie*
Theres a movie that I love called – The Upside Of Anger. The movie touches on why holding onto anger and resentment can damn near destroy you and those around you. One of my favorite quotes from there is as follows…
“Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. That’s what I know now. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It’s real though – the fury, even when it isn’t. It can change you… turn you… mold you and shape you into something you’re not.
The only upside to anger then – is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they’re not afraid to take the journey. Someone that knows that the truth is, at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits, and in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm.”
See, Im the type of person that holds onto pain. I mean Im at that point of trying to let go – FULLY and it is hard. Some days Im hurting – emotionally. Other days Im filled with anger. Some days I don’t understand why those who were supposed to love and protect me, were the ones that hurt me – deeply. I wouldn’t say I have trust issues per se. I trust people until they give me a reason to not trust them but at the slightest bit of distrust, it will cause me to become VERY guarded/withdrawn. If I have let you into my world, my circle, that means I have trusted you enough with my heart and life.
Writing is like an escape for me. It allows me to be open when I might not
otherwise be. That’s part of why I blog. Plus years from now, Id like to look back to see just how far Ive come despite all the heartaches.
I know the importance of letting go * I know the importance of forgiveness and forgiving.
Im getting there…
One Day At A Time
I pray that you all who are going through it, don’t allow yourself to be robbed of your blessings and happiness by holding onto unresolved hurt and anger as well.