About a week ago, the hubster came down with something that put him on his ass – literally. He was really ill. At first it seemed as though he had caught some virus/bug but as it progressed, I noticed that his symptoms resembled that of diabetes. I wish I had taken a picture of how soaked our sheets were from the excessive amount of sweat/water pouring out his body at night. After about 3 days, he didn’t seem to be getting any better so off to urgent care we went.
I didnt go back with him at first but of course tests were ordered. The doctor finally came out to get me and once in the room said there was some good news and bad news. My heart sank. Turned out he indeed had diabetes but it also looked as though he may have had – ketoacidosis – and that I needed to get the hubster over to the ER. Not later on that night or tomorrow BUT right now. That’s some scary shit! Im in denial the whole time that it could be anything of that nature and that everything was going to be ok. Trying to keep as positive as I can be. We drove to one hospital and the wait time was horrendous, so we drove to what I deemed a better one. Didn’t take long for us to get seen. They were able to get his sugar down a bit and pumped him up with fluids. Then we learned he needed to stay a few days just to monitor him, get him on insulin and also get some education regarding diabetes. I noticed an immediate difference in him. He was more alert and looked like – himself.
At this point, Im scared and angry. Scared about (possibly) losing my husband. The last time I was in this position, I learned that my late husband had brain cancer. It was sudden and unexpected. It makes you realize not only your own mortality ( or should that be – immortality) but that of your spouse as well. Considering where things were in our marriage – it wasn’t going too well – this (him officially being diagnosed with diabetes) really put things into perspective. Even though he and I have some things to work out and on – my marriage is worth fighting for until I receive a sign from God that it’s one of those things that WE meaning he and I, should let go of. It’s just going to take us putting in 100% to make this work, but this is a topic for another post 🙂
Then the anger came because here I am – once again, thrown into being a “caregiver” which altered some plans I had made during that week. When a spouse becomes ill, it doesn’t just affect them, it affects the spouse as well. Once I knew he’d be ok as long as we stuck to what we needed to do, the anger was still there. I guess it was like old wounds being reopened.. Then the guilt set in regarding how I was feeling. Only those who follow my website or know me personally will probably understand where the anger was coming from, especially after what’s happened in my life for the past year and 1/2.
Thankfully the hubster is doing well and his sugar has been pretty stable. However, what we’ve learned is – he cannot dip into the 70’s before he starts shaking. So I try to make sure he has his sugar tablets on him. We were going to make changes to how we ate and excersied more anyway. This was definitely the push we needed to start doing better.
This is the only body we have until we are granted a new one when we leave this earth.
And as the saying goes….
You eat to live – Not live to eat