I have permission to share this story as told to me by a friend of mine.
I was 16 years old when I met him. He was a couple of years older than me and had spent his life in foster care. He was too old to continue to live in foster care and was out on his own. I so wanted to be a friend to him because he seemed so broken. Our relationship was a lot of fun and soon we began dating.
Many months intou our relationship, things went sour and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to continue with the relationship. We had so many differences and we just didn’t see eye-to-eye. Going through many breakups, I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. I hadn’t broken up with him when it started happening. He could sense that I was trying to back off and end the relationship and he didn’t want that.
I cant tell you how many times it was, but it was a lot, that he kept me against my will until we have “worked things out.” Of course that would always end in a lie so that I could leave the room, or the car, or wherever we were at the time. I was locked inside my sister’s apartment, his friends room, and my own vehicle. He wouldn’t let me leave until I convinced him I was going to breakup with him. And of course, it escalated from that.
On more than one occasion, he grabbed the wheel of my car and pulled us off the highway. He attempted to jump from my moving car. He threatened. suicide, all so that I wouldn’t leave him.
On July 4th, when everyone was out watching fireworks, we were at a park. He gets angry with me over something, grabs my arm so hard and throws me against a tree. I had a black handprint on my arm from the bruising and marks along my head and back. I start crying and he walks away. When he gets far enough away, a van drives by and I run for the van. They let me in and take me to a gas station. I call 911, but the cops wouldn’t come. Later that evening, I find out he had swallowed a bottle filled with Tylenol but he was ok.
I was done with the relationship. I endured a year of this abuse and every month it got worse than the one before. He was getting more violent and I no longer wanted any contact with him. I couldn’t fix him and he would put me in the hospital or even killed me if I stayed with him.
It wasn’t easy leaving him. I would have to get rides from school so he couldn’t stalk my car. I had a buddy walk me to and from my car at work. He would often be waiting somewhere and I would run to me car or back inside the building.
It has been 19 years and that relationship still haunts me. I have suffered from anxiety ever since. I have a lack of trust and have a hard time making new friends. There are days when I don’t want to go to the grocery store because I am afraid he’ll happen to be there. A couple of years ago, just to taunt me, he did show up at my work. Just to stand back and watch. He was making sure that I understood that he knew where I was.
I am very grateful that I was able to get out of that relationship. It wasn’t easy and it took a long time. However, I am much happier and safer without him. I have a loving husband now and I love my life.