ETA: I’ve changed the original date of this post, which was: Jan 23, 2015, to today’s date. I’ve made the arrangements so that my late husband can have a final resting place. It’s been 7 years since his death and I think it’s time to give him a proper burial.
I have yet to give my late husband a final resting place. His ashes have been sitting inside his urn, in my closet, for 6 years now. I know this bothers the hubster as to why I’m still holding onto his ashes. There is one major thing as to why that has nothing to do with my not moving forward from his death. Something I wont get into here but at this point in my life, I have to stop worrying about how people think when they’ve mistreated me. Also, after giving him a final resting place, it will not cover up the void that remains – you don’t just “get over” a loss like that. Sure you move on but the void and pain is still there. People often compare the loss of a spouse, due to divorce, with the loss of a spouse ,due to death, as being the same. They are not the same. While I do agree that no one gets married just to get a divorce and yes you grieve from that sense of loss, it’s still not the same as losing a spouse to death.
Divorce is a Choice. Death is Not.
Does that mean I love the hubster any less because I still grieve over the loss of my late husband? Certainly not. When I post on social media, it’s usually during Veterans Day. I was a military spouse (to different people – gaah that sounds so bad) for over 20 yrs., so it’s just natural for me to remember my late husband on that day especially.
The flag was given to me after my late husband passed. I still have his dog tag and the heart shaped box contains some of his and my mommy’s ashes. I’m hoping that the hubster follows my wishes as I want the ashes in the container, mixed with mine should I pass before him. I know that may seem morbid to some but not to me.
If you are a widow – this is a great place to connect with other widows – Camp Widow