Keep Pushing…

*Originally posted Jun 10, 2015*

Being in college (on break) has been awesome and it’s given me my own sense of identity. I’ve had a come to Jesus with myself about my weight and my health issues as well. I’d known already that I was borderline in having high blood pressure and was officially diagnosed as pre-hypertensive not too long ago.  The one thing I have not been consistent at is exercising but I have some plans for that and my bad habit of drinking sodas (I’ve been soda free for 2 months now). I know I need to get my ass in gear (I’ve started going to the gym regularly). My dad died from a heart attack and I’m not trying to have one if I can help it.

Since I’ve been going I’ve noticed that my posture is better and my heart rate is as well. Go Me!

I’m trying to get down to about 180. I’m currently at: 240 (currently at 226) *sigh* Even though losing weight due to my having hypothyroidism makes it difficult, it isn’t impossible, especially when one isn’t eating right and not exercising. I know what the charts say I should be at but for some reason being between 130 and 140 does not look right on me. Whenever I’ve been down to that, people that know me would ask if I were sick. I was surprised when a personal trainer suggested I not drop down to 140 as well. Maybe it’s a matter of bone structure *shrugs*

My hope for those who are dealing with situations where you feel as though you’re a failure, is to find a support system. Don’t be ashamed if you need to be on medicine(s) either if you’re suffering from depression. I know the stigma that surrounds mental illness but Im here to tell you – SEEK HELP. I’ve been there and some days I do get depressed. You cannot have gone through all that I have and not be a little f*cked up. Post positive sticky notes on your wall(s), mirrors, etc. if you have to. If people want to call you “crazy”, please remember that it is YOUR life. They aren’t walking in your shoes.

If you are surrounding yourself with those types of people – tell their asses to go kick rocks and preferably with open toed shoes on. And then kick them out your life. Hell, life can be tough as it is, why add to it by surrounding yourself with those who will tear you down, use you, etc. Sometimes family (and so called friends) can be the worse. Believe me, as hard as it is to cut family (and friends) out your life, for your own sanity, it’s a must. TRUST ME ON THAT!


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