This was supposed to have been written before the new year. But better late than never I suppose…
There’s really no way to (perfectly) describe the sadness I (still) feel of my mom’s passing. It’s even harder when the holidays roll around. However, I was determined to make the most of Christmas for the sake of my (step)children.
Reality started to set in the day before Christmas. The hubster put on some Christmas music but deep down I was wishing he’d stop playing it. Some of the songs triggered memories – some good and some bad. The bad meaning that my dad didn’t care if it was the holidays or not when it came to him physically abusing my mom. But my mom being who she was, through her bruises and pain, always prepared a nice hot breakfast Christmas day (if he beat her the night before) and made sure we had a pretty decent Christmas as kids. I ended up crying in the bathroom. I was happy when the hubster finally stopped playing Christmas music.
I wrote a post on Facebook in memory of my mom – the day before Christmas and I’m still a bit sad at that point. I was eating cereal that had cranberries in it and was removing them as Im not a fan of cranberries. About 6 minutes after posting the memorial to my mom, I came across a cranberry that, to me, looked like a heart. I swear in an instant it seems, a sense of calmness washed over me. I could feel my mommy’s presence and so I decided to pull myself together. Yes, I do believe in (guardian) angels.
We were due to pick up my (step)children in a few hours and I was so very excited to see them. It can be a bit overwhelming at times dealing with so many kids but it is what it is *smiling*. I had concerns of how they would feel about us being in this one room, hotel. Not to mention how we’d all fit in here comfortably. The excitement coming from the kids made me realize that worrying will rob you of so much. In case you missed the post on why we’re in 300 sq ft of space, you can read about that here: 300 sqft.
We had bought pizza, so we ate that and then decided to watch a movie. We watched – Get Santa and I must say, we all LOVED it. When the part below played, the hubster and I bust out laughing cause, well….and no they didn’t play the explicit version. I just told the kids they’d understand when they were old enough to understand as to why the hubster and I were laughing.
Overall, I am sooo happy that I came up out my “funk” cause we all ended up having an amazing time together. The kids absolutely love(d) the place/our space here, especially with the ability to use the elevator….LOL! The youngest said he wants a small space cause that means less chores. That kid is like an “old soul” as some say about a child who is way ahead of their time. It was always funny and interesting watching him and my mom have conversations. He sticks to me like glue and is the only one allowed to call me – fluffy. I’m pretty blessed to have such an amazing relationship with my (step)children.
We hung around at the kids moms house for awhile. I had 2 shots of coquito (which I paid for the next day but man oh man was it yummy – lol) while the hubster fooled around with putting one of the kids Christmas presents together.
Christmas 2015 was AWESOME!
Love and miss you mommy…
*click pictures to enlarge*