I’ve found some pretty nice swimsuits at the thrift store and some with the tags still on like this one. It’s a size large and I paid $5.00, give or take + tax. No, I don’t care that my fupa, panniculous or whatever you want to call it, shows. Until I decide to have the panniculectomy procedure done, I’ll continue to be secure within myself to rock whatever I wear. Otherwise, no amount of surgery could fix that if I’m not happy within myself from the inside first. I may not like that particular area and want it gone but I genuinely love me some me.
Back in the day I used to dislike how broad my back and shoulders are because I thought they looked a bit too manly. Then came the weight gain, which also brought the rolls, which made me feel some type of way even more. But as I get older and I’m learning to embrace parts of my body that make up who I am, from a physical standpoint, I see a back and shoulders of pure strength and beauty. Even as I slim down, my back and shoulders pretty much have stayed the same – a few of the rolls.
If there’s one thing I know, I feel more confident now in my 50’s than I did in my younger years. It wasn’t until I realized the importance of self-care, having a better understanding of who I am as a person and woman, did I truly find this level of confidence. I’ve also been able to push myself out of my comfort zones (even with my being an introvert) and I focus more on my strengths than I do my weaknesses.
In 3 months I’ll be turning 52. I like to think that I’m aging gracefully in the best ways possible; in mind, body and spirit. It’s not dying that I’m afraid of. It’s not living whatever time I have left on this earth to the fullest, which I try to be mindful of. Buuut then there are those days when my body is like “nah, sis, gone in there and take a nap”. LOL!