Living with Chronic (Invisible)Illnesses

Looking at me, you wouldn’t know the constant hell my body goes through every single day. This is another reason why I say we should be careful about what we say about others. You never know what someone is going through. Just thinking about this reminds me of reading some of the hatefulness from people concerning Chadwick Boseman before it was learned that he had cancer.

Last year I was diagnosed with spondylosis (arthritis) in the cervical (neck), thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower) of my back along with bone spurs at multiple levels. And when I say my back hurts me, I’m not joking. I usually just push through, and take some ibuprofen. However, sometimes I get to that point where I can’t tolerate the pain and take the prescribed medication which I hate. When I take it, I’m out (sleep) for the rest of the day.

As if that wasn’t enough, I was diagnosed with large granular lymphocytic leukemia (LGL) which I’ll discuss in another blog post

Continue reading “Living with Chronic (Invisible)Illnesses”

Review of the Movie – Courageous

I really enjoyed this movie and can relate in more ways then one. It reminded me of my struggles in dealing with my father growing up. I often wonder what my life would have been like had my father not been in my life – completely opposite of what this movie is about. Why? Because my father was not a very nice man, especially when it came to my mother who he would beat senseless sometimes. I remember him being someone who decided he wouldnt pay for us to have heat in the house which required us to take a bath – in a bucket – that we’d fill with hot water after boiling on the stove. I honestly believe my father was bipolar.

There was that part of me that hated him and a part of me that loved him. I will never have a concrete answer on whether my life would have been better had my father not been a part of it. I left home when I was 16 and not soon after, my father left my mother for another woman. I remember my father trying to reconnect with me prior to his death but I wasnt trying to hear it. He died without us having reconciled and I dealt with a lot of anger, hurt, saddness and guilt as a result. I finally found the courage and strength to visit my fathers grave and a sense of peace came over me in doing so but there are days….. I can only pray that my father made peace with himself and the Lord prior to his passing.

Our circumstances will either make or break us. Ive been at my lowest of lows ( a story in itself) and while I had no control over my life as a child, I do have control over my life as an adult. Being hurt is a part of life. There just isnt a way around it and more than likely, it’ll be at the hands of those closest to you. Ive learned a lot in my life and one thing is for sure – Ive made it this far through the grace of God. I know beyond ALL doubt that He has been with me and protected me in ways that would have others looking side ways considering what Ive gone through. I still have some issues to work through and others I have no desire in working through. If I did, that would result in taking away my being who I am as a woman and person and I refuse to live a life (like I used to) based on other peoples perceptions.

I am my mothers daughter – Im my fathers daughter too.

I highly recommend this movie….. Theres a document in movie which can be bought by clicking link – The Resolution

ReMoved – Through The Eyes of a Child…

The day we brought our foster baby (Liam) home from hospital.

Considering we were foster parents last year, only to have him removed (without warning) because we didn’t do as the bio mom asked us – the video below stirs so many emotions. I will blog about that at a later time.

Would I ever do it again? Maybe – but Id definitely make sure there was no (personal) contact with the bio parent(s). I pray often for Liam and the countless children who have to go through the system of foster care.

A Strong Woman…

I keep this on my desk and it says…


A Strong Woman Is Someone Who:

Is willing and able to make decisions about her activities, her future and family.

Speak her mind in a relationship.

Refuses to do things that make her uncomfortable.

Expects people to treat her with respect and affection even when they are disappointed.

Expects equal relationships where partners take turns giving and receiving from each other.

Expects that any and all sexual behavior is consensual.

Knows that destructive relationships hurt her self esteem as well as mental and physical well being.

Knows that any violence is unacceptable.



Im part of this awesome group of women and we share a common bond. We’re survivors! We have a bridge which allows those to go down and tag it. The organizer of the group put something together and the end result was FABULOUS.

Initially I was going to be unable to attend due to us having only one car. When my husband finally came home, we headed out to get something to eat and were going to go for a walk. I wanted to see how the bridge turned out but to my surprise, the organizer was still there as well as a few other women. What’s funny is – the walk my husband and I were going to take, was very spontaneous as I was out in my bedroom slippers. I feel so blessed to have been a part of it. My husband even joined in to help paint.