Not off to the best start butI’m going to get there. My problem? Not watching what I eat on the weekends. I start out the week getting down to about 177 and find myself over 180 after eating out over the weekend. The only way to deal with this is….discipline.
Even when ordering food that’s “healthy” it ends up not being when I look at the calories. My plan is to start ordering off the kids menu and making sure I’m eating throughout the day. Of course I want to have a healthy relationship with food and I want to enjoy going out. However, when it’s all said and done, I end up feeling miserable; especially when I consume gluten.
Even if I do eat something labeled “gluten-free” there’s a disclaimer, usually, stating that the food may be in contact with gluten. Unless you are sensitive to gluten and dairy, you will never understand how badly those things affect those that are senstive to them. I’am sensitive to them both. As I type this, I should probably get tested for celiac. Gluten sensitivity.
My initial goal weight was 180 but I’ve changed it to around 170 to give myself some wiggle room. I havent been as focused on getting down to 170 over the past month or so. Mainly due to my final class which had me rethinking my whole life as a student. Pissed off was an understatement. I know 140 is the “recommended” weight for my height, but 140 does not look good on me.
Now let’s talk about Thanksgiving! Whew lawd the struggle was real. When you can’t cook and eat some real home cooking….let’s just say I went from 178.8 to 182.4 (over a 2 day period) LOL! I’m currently at 180.4. For the most part, my weight has been between 177 – 180ish; which is still within my goal weight.
I won’t make the mistake I did for Thanksgiving but so not beating myself up about it. I didnt eat, like I normally do, so I could pig out for dinner. Later that night, I ended up being miserable as hell from over-eating. I will do better for Christmas dinner though.
I will definitely be going back to my regular gym once I’ve seen the physical therapist this week about my shoulder injury. I enjoyed having structure + it’s just a better vibe and fit for me. However, I do like the fact that now the hubs and I can workout together cause he is so not into doing HIIT.
My plan is to downgrade my membership at my gym so that we’re still able to keep the membership withPlanet Fitness. The downgrade would give me 8 workouts a month; so 2 days a week atRegymenand 3 days a week at Planet Fitness.
I started feeling a little defeated dealing with this shoulder injury. I haven’t had a good nights sleep in days. The pain and weakness in my shoulder really sucks. I’ve been feeling angry, sad, frustrated and I’ve shed a few tears. The pain seems to be more intense at night and interesting enough when I learned more about shoulder impingement, the pain is worse at night. It’s suggested that you sleep on your back and I’m so not a back sleeper, but if it’ll help with the pain, then that’s what I’m going to try.
I would take the pain I had from my hysterectomy over this because that’s how bad the pain has been. I hate not being able to go to my gym to workout and then add in my other medical issues…..mentally, spiritually and emotionally, I was feeling defeated. Thinking to myself that I really must be a horrible person to keep going through shit.
I love me some me; from the inside out. However, as a result of gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight and surgeries, I don’t like one particular part of my body. That would be my lower stomach aka panniculus.
I have lost a total of 58.2 pounds with about 10 more pounds to go which would bring my total to 68.2. My goal weight is 180 which is what me and my plastic surgery agreed upon. I know that for my height, I should weigh around 140 but I’ve been at that size and it is not for me.
If the older me could go back and talk with the younger me, I would tell myself to take better care of myself; mind, body and spirit. Self care has become of utmost importance to me now. I may be going on 52 years old, but I’m doing what I can, that’s within my control.
I strongly suggest being your own advocate to ensure you have doctors that are listening to you as well. You know your body better than anyone. So many things went unnoticed because I put too much trust in what my previous doctors would tell me when I knew something was not right. You have a right to request your medical records and the things that I would come across.
I have never experienced pain like this in my shoulders/arms before, so I thought maybe it was just soreness from my pushing myself to go a bit heavier with the weights on certain exercises. Until I went to urgent care today and found out I’m dealing with impingement syndrome of the shoulder.
What is shoulder impingement syndrome?
“This is a painful pinching of soft tissues in your shoulder. It happens when these tissues rub and press against a part of your shoulder blade called the “acromion.” This can irritate your rotator cuff tendons, and also a soft sac called the “subacromial bursa.” (The Institute for Athletic Medicine, 2020)
When I say that shit hurts when I move it the wrong way, I ain’t playing and this is coming from someone with a somewhat high tolerance for pain. I can see why it would be easy not wanting to do the exercises needed to help with this, out of fear from the amount of pain you think you may have. However, I’d rather work on those exercises, than to develop a frozen shoulder.
Looking at me, you wouldn’t know the constant hell my body goes through every single day. This is another reason why I say we should be careful about what we say about others. You never know what someone is going through. Just thinking about this reminds me of reading some of the hatefulness from people concerning Chadwick Boseman before it was learned that he had cancer.
Last year I was diagnosed with spondylosis (arthritis) in the cervical (neck), thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower) of my back along with bone spurs at multiple levels. And when I say my back hurts me every.single.day, I’m not joking. I usually just push through, and take some ibuprofen. However, sometimes I get to that point where I can’t tolerate the pain and take the prescribed medication which I hate. When I take it, I’m out (sleep) for the rest of the day.
As if that wasn’t enough, I was diagnosed with large granular lymphocytic leukemia (LGL) which I’ll discuss in another blog post
I need to see if there are any pictures available of my uterus. I asked my gyn what it looked like due to the Fibroids and she said “Imagine what Mickey Mouse looks like?!? That would be what your uterus looked like. The hubster was able to see it and….well yeah *sad face*. The crazy thing about the surgery is that my gyn wasnt able to locate my right ovary, so we have no idea if it dissolved or what.
Had to have post op appt. today due to a slight issue. Good news – somewhat! I’ve lost almost 20lbs. Woot! Woot! Don’t have much of an appetite at all but need to be careful. Bad news: Had to take bottom staples out due to drainage AND looks like the lower half is trying to split open. Didn’t seem to close. Sooo, we wait and see and I’m to keep as dry as possible. Worse case scenario is having to do wound care. Been there! Done that! Not trying to do again – EVER! No HRT. Going a different route to deal with my body being “off”. Damn you crying spells and insomnia *Throws up fist* I go in Wed. to remove the upper half of staples. *1 week and 2 days post op.*