Not one single day goes by that I don’t think about you. It’s been 8 years since your passing and it still knocks the wind out of me that you are gone. I wish I could hug you. I wish I could hear your voice. I wish I could see your smile. I wish. I wish. I wish.
Walking is one of my favorite things to do because (1) I’m getting some exercise in and (2) being outdoors does wonders for my soul and (3) I learn quite a bit of history about my city and surrounding cities when I stop to read the plaques/signs posted (4) I find myself meeting new people.
The weather here n Florida can be so unpredictable and lately all it’s done is rain just about every day. Not today though so I decided to take advantage of it even though it was hot as hell outside. The real feel was around 91 I believe. Staying hydrated was very, very important and so I brought my water bottle with me filled with water and ice.
I brought a 100 calorie snack by Emerald, that has almonds, dried cranberries, and cashews to eat on my walk. I also brought a protein bar by One(the blueberry is so good), which was half way melted by the time I returned to the car. The next time I’ll bring my insulated bag with ice pack to out it in.
I will definitely be going back to my regular gym once I’ve seen the physical therapist this week about my shoulder injury. I enjoyed having structure + it’s just a better vibe and fit for me. However, I do like the fact that now the hubs and I can workout together cause he is so not into doing HIIT.
My plan is to downgrade my membership at my gym so that we’re still able to keep the membership withPlanet Fitness. The downgrade would give me 8 workouts a month; so 2 days a week atRegymenand 3 days a week at Planet Fitness.
I started feeling a little defeated dealing with this shoulder injury. I haven’t had a good nights sleep in days. The pain and weakness in my shoulder really sucks. I’ve been feeling angry, sad, frustrated and I’ve shed a few tears. The pain seems to be more intense at night and interesting enough when I learned more about shoulder impingement, the pain is worse at night. It’s suggested that you sleep on your back and I’m so not a back sleeper, but if it’ll help with the pain, then that’s what I’m going to try.
I would take the pain I had from my hysterectomy over this because that’s how bad the pain has been. I hate not being able to go to my gym to workout and then add in my other medical issues…..mentally, spiritually and emotionally, I was feeling defeated. Thinking to myself that I really must be a horrible person to keep going through shit.
I love me some me; from the inside out. However, as a result of gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight and surgeries, I don’t like one particular part of my body. That would be my lower stomach aka panniculus.
I have lost a total of 58.2 pounds with about 10 more pounds to go which would bring my total to 68.2. My goal weight is 180 which is what me and my plastic surgery agreed upon. I know that for my height, I should weigh around 140 but I’ve been at that size and it is not for me.
If the older me could go back and talk with the younger me, I would tell myself to take better care of myself; mind, body and spirit. Self care has become of utmost importance to me now. I may be going on 52 years old, but I’m doing what I can, that’s within my control.
I strongly suggest being your own advocate to ensure you have doctors that are listening to you as well. You know your body better than anyone. So many things went unnoticed because I put too much trust in what my previous doctors would tell me when I knew something was not right. You have a right to request your medical records and the things that I would come across.
I have never experienced pain like this in my shoulders/arms before, so I thought maybe it was just soreness from my pushing myself to go a bit heavier with the weights on certain exercises. Until I went to urgent care today and found out I’m dealing with impingement syndrome of the shoulder.
What is shoulder impingement syndrome?
“This is a painful pinching of soft tissues in your shoulder. It happens when these tissues rub and press against a part of your shoulder blade called the “acromion.” This can irritate your rotator cuff tendons, and also a soft sac called the “subacromial bursa.” (The Institute for Athletic Medicine, 2020)
When I say that shit hurts when I move it the wrong way, I ain’t playing and this is coming from someone with a somewhat high tolerance for pain. I can see why it would be easy not wanting to do the exercises needed to help with this, out of fear from the amount of pain you think you may have. However, I’d rather work on those exercises, than to develop a frozen shoulder.
I found this “cute to me” dress at the thrift store a few weeks ago. At first I wasn’t going to buy it because I have another dress that’s similar but with longer sleeves and not that much different color wise + it’s a large and I’m still getting used to that since being on this weight loss/management journey. The cost for the dress was around $6.00 give or take + tax.
I’ve had the high heels (bought from Shoe Dazzle; Robyn Crochet Shootie Stiletto) for years but I think I’ve yet to wear them out because (1), the heel is high as hell and (2), whew lawd the pain I feel in my ankles. I’m more of a tennis shoes, barefoot, flip flops kinda gal but do love wearing high heels. I think if I wore them more often, my fear (busting my ass aka falling) of wear heels like the ones in the picture wouldn’t be that big of an issue. I don’t have a problem wearing high heels that have a chunkier heel.
And since I can be extra asf (as fxck) sometimes, naturally I turned it into a photo shoot. LOL! I need to either buy a new tripod or figure out where the attachment is that holds my phone.
Looking at me, you wouldn’t know the constant hell my body goes through every single day. This is another reason why I say we should be careful about what we say about others. You never know what someone is going through. Just thinking about this reminds me of reading some of the hatefulness from people concerning Chadwick Boseman before it was learned that he had cancer.
Last year I was diagnosed with spondylosis (arthritis) in the cervical (neck), thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower) of my back along with bone spurs at multiple levels. And when I say my back hurts me every.single.day, I’m not joking. I usually just push through, and take some ibuprofen. However, sometimes I get to that point where I can’t tolerate the pain and take the prescribed medication which I hate. When I take it, I’m out (sleep) for the rest of the day.
As if that wasn’t enough, I was diagnosed with large granular lymphocytic leukemia (LGL) which I’ll discuss in another blog post
Not sure exactly when or how I hurt my shoulder but it definitely affected me yesterday while working out. I had to do some modifications and not go as heavy with the weights for my left shoulder. If it’s not better by next week, then I’ll need to get it checked out because moving it a certain way hurts like a mutha.
I’ll be working out again in the morning and decided today that I’ll start going in 3x’s a week (plus my workout on Sunday mornings) instead of 2. I want to change my mindset on how I view Monday’s and start appreciating that I’ve been given another chance, to see another day. Plus I really do enjoy going to workout. I know there are some things to be concerned about as I get older, but hopefully with exercising and taking better care of myself, I can help lessen the blow.