Happy Heavenly Birthday Momma!

You will forever be my hero. My inspiration.

You would have been 88 today.

Not one single day goes by that I don’t think about you. It’s been 8 years since your passing and it still knocks the wind out of me that you are gone. I wish I could hug you. I wish I could hear your voice. I wish I could see your smile. I wish. I wish. I wish.

Happy Heavenly Birthday! I Love You!

It’s Ok – To Not Be Ok!

Last Sunday, it was as though God was speaking to me to get up and go to this particular church. I know it may seem crazy but every single time Ive heard Him speaking to me regarding church, it was something that I needed to hear while in church.

Ive been having a REALLY hard time with my mommy’s death. I knew I wasn’t “over it” but I truly thought I had dealt with it. The other day I had a really bad trigger which almost caused me to have a wreck. The trigger? It was a song by – The Temptations. A Christmas song called – Silent Night. I have a love-hate relationship with that song.

See, my dad was the type that sometimes I knew when we’d be having a great day and when we’d be having a day from hell. Sometimes I just couldn’t tell with him though. My dad didn’t always take off from beating my mom just because it was Christmas. Did we ever not get anything? Nope! Sometimes we received things from them that they had bought and other times, it was given to us from various organizations, such as The Salvation Army. If he happened to beat her on Christmas Day (usually in the mornings), we’d go through the usual process (he’d beat her, Id do whatever I could to make him stop, while my younger siblings hid (sometimes I did as well) or ran for the neighbors. After it was over, my mom would pull herself together. We’d open presents, she’d make this huge Christmas dinner, we’d play, eat and then go to bed.

Continue reading “It’s Ok – To Not Be Ok!”