While I blog about day to day life, I also use my blog as a platform in raising awareness on social issues.
Watching my mother be abused at the hands of my father is my catalyst in raising awareness.
Being a victim myself of domestic violence is my catalyst in raising awareness.
Helping victims become survivors, is my catalyst in raising awareness.
Image source: www.socialworkdegreeguide.com
As a survivor of domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse, I’ve always known that I didn’t want what I’ve gone through, to be in vain. I wanted to use what I’ve gone through as a way to raise awareness, help victims become survivors and much more.
I decided to take a training course (yrs ago but I stay up-to-date, especially on legal issues) so that I could provide support to women who had gone to the emergency room as a result of rape. I sat in with the victim to offer support and then provided an envelope with valuable resources. It was hard, emotionally, on my first call as I know what it’s like to be on the other side. To be pocked, asked questions, photographed and prodded as the SANE nurse collected samples/evidence. The only reason I had to stop volunteering was due to my (late) husbands battle with brain cancer.
Continue reading “My Purpose”
I’m a survivor. The cut to the right is of my(failed) attempt to end my life. Several times before that, it was via pills. I don’t know why I was allowed to live while so many others have died. I don’t judge as I know what it is like to feel helpless and hopeless. Hugs to those of you who are struggling with depression. Rest In Paradise to those who no longer are ❤
My father was a very abusive man. I cant even begin to write all that he put my mother and our family through,. My father has been gone for about 20 years I suppose. He seems to visit me in my dreams but I still have the nightmares of all that he put my mom and our family through. Im still working on trying to forgive him. My Letter To My Father…
I do not understand why you caused the kind of pain that you did towards mommy. I dont understand why you caused so much pain within our family. I dont understand how one moment you were this man that was a loving father and husband but then in the blink of an eye, became this evil, EVIL man that beat the crap out of a woman that did absolutely nothing to deserve it, nobody deserves to be beaten like that. EVER.
Every night when I close my eyes, I cannot get out my mind the day you tried chasing her down with a fucking knife. I had seen you pissed before but not like this. I cant stop thinking about the end result had our neighbors NOT been home to let her in. I am ANGRY at you dad…ANGRY and HURT by your actions back then. Do you have any idea how many times I wished you would just drop dead?
Its hard to believe that at one time, the daughter you called ‘daddys little girl’, would be the one to end up hating you. How could you let it even come out your mouth that I was a slut cause you assumed I was ‘helping’ mommy to cheat when you knew damn well all we did was work. We found the pictures you took when youd ‘stalk us’ while we were out working. That should have told your ass something.
It was your behavior that led me towards a man (my first husband) that was just like you, abusive. It was your behavior that led me to become an alcoholic, suicidal, sleeping with men cause I didnt love myself enough but ya know what?? Im NOT that person anymore. I had no control over those things but I do NOW.
I have a wonderful life and its time for me to let go of the things Ive been hanging onto for so long. Ive allowed this hatred towards you control me and I cant do that anymore. Its going to take some time to work through all of these emotions but “I” will get there.
This is a video I put together in hopes of raising awareness on domestic violence, child abuse and rape.
The link to the video explains a bit on why they don’t…
PAPER THIN PROMISE
I have permission to share this story as told to me by a friend of mine.
I was 16 years old when I met him. He was a couple of years older than me and had spent his life in foster care. He was too old to continue to live in foster care and was out on his own. I so wanted to be a friend to him because he seemed so broken. Our relationship was a lot of fun and soon we began dating.
Many months intou our relationship, things went sour and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to continue with the relationship. We had so many differences and we just didn’t see eye-to-eye. Going through many breakups, I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. I hadn’t broken up with him when it started happening. He could sense that I was trying to back off and end the relationship and he didn’t want that.
I cant tell you how many times it was, but it was a lot, that he kept me against my will until we have “worked things out.” Of course that would always end in a lie so that I could leave the room, or the car, or wherever we were at the time. I was locked inside my sister’s apartment, his friends room, and my own vehicle. He wouldn’t let me leave until I convinced him I was going to breakup with him. And of course, it escalated from that.
On more than one occasion, he grabbed the wheel of my car and pulled us off the highway. He attempted to jump from my moving car. He threatened. suicide, all so that I wouldn’t leave him.
Continue reading “Her Story!”