We Are Our Worst Critic…

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Within the last 3 months or so, I’ve gained at least 20 lbs. It could be a combination of my medical issues –  Hypothyroidism. My Hysterectomy  – Note to self: Make appointment to have levels checked since I’m on hormonal medication. My not eating healthy which includes my addiction to soda at times. Not exercising…

Previously to my taking note of my weight gain, I was already feeling down in the dumps as I have never been this overweight before. However, I’ve never been one to shy away from taking pictures and posting them (online), regardless as to what I’m wearing. When it comes to wearing certain clothing in public – now. Not happening! No sir reeeee!!!

I’d bought a pretty swimsuit at Wal-Mart awhile back. I wore it to take a picture in  and then only wore the top out. I have NEVER worn a bikini (the bottom) before (let alone in public) but I bought this particular swimsuit that has it. I kept telling myself that I was going to step out of my comfort zone (eventually) and wear it in public. That time came over the weekend when the hubster and I went down to the pool to swim.

I recently did a semi-chop to my hair, so excuse the wild hair look *smiling*. Hoping I can stay on this natural hair journey because relaxers seem to be killing my hair.

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Continue reading “We Are Our Worst Critic…”

Time

It has become (painfully) aware to me that I’m not using my time effectively. Every day I lose about 4 – 5 hours because I’m sleeping. It’s a combination of my medical issues and going to bed late. By the time I wake up (around noon and as late as 2 p.m.) half the day is already gone.

So what does one need to do to change this? Plan!

I will be printing this out to place on fridge

Monday – Friday

  • Make sure to eat breakfast when I fix the hubster his.
  • Do whatever chores need to be done.
  • Zumba on the Xbox
  • Check emails and social media. Respond if necessary.
  • Snack
  • Spend 1 – 2 hours on classwork.
  • Shower
  • Eat lunch
  • Take nap if feeling tired and not feel guilty about it
  • Spend time blogging, working on organization (not giving up on this) reading or anything “fun” that I enjoy doing.
  • Start dinner around 5 p.m, so we can eat between 6 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
  • Watch an episode or 2 of Lost.  Will catch up with Lost in our bedroom on weekends that we have kids 
  • Head to gym around 7:30 p.m. Hoping to do at least 4 times a week
  • Shower after getting home around 8 p.m or shower at gym.
  • Make sure house is tidy before bed
  • Climb into bed to: read, watch a movie or play a board game with the hubster
  • Hoping to be asleep around 10 p.m.

Continue reading “Time”

Not So Randomness!

School is becoming stressful but I’m keeping my eyes on the prize.

My mind is so cluttered right now.  I think I may need Yoga in my life like for real.  Usually when I’m feeling this way it’s because I’m not as close with God as I should be.

A trip the hubster and I had planned for our 4 year wedding anniversary, had to be cancelled. Getting my degree is one of the top priorities for me at the moment. At least he’s had some much needed time off from work. We haven’t killed (figure of speech) each other, so that says a lot. Ha!

Before heading out to dinner to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary. I always notice just how short I am when I stand next to him.

anniversary

I’m really loving our apartment and the complex. Now if they’d fix the damn treadmills that are broken, I’d be even happier. We’ve yet to try out the pool but maybe this weekend cause it’s hot than a mutha here in Florida!  The tenants above us though. I swear they have heavy feet cause damn…

I’ve gained 20 lbs in 3 months. I want some answers when I see my doctor on the 14th. I also have some new symptoms that have popped up. One being my need to constantly tinkle.

This year I’ll turn 47 years old. I count my blessings often that I’m still living and breathing because when I look back on my life…

I’m getting back into meal prepping. I HATE to cook and found this site that wont make it so bad to do so. My Body. My Kitchen

I’ve found that I cuss way more than I should since I started college. I’m still a f*cking lady though…LOL! That comedian, Adele Givens, came to mind for some reason as I started typing.

I miss my mom so very much. I still get hit with the reality (even though it’s been almost 3 years since her death) at times that she is no longer here and it’s hard to wrap my head around that.

My vision board

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After Years of Neglect…

After years of neglecting myself, my body is starting to feel the effects of it. It seems as though with my slowing down which has only been 3 months –  has it all come to the surface. And this bitch (my body) aint playing.

Yesterday, I had to take a trip to Urgent Care. My headaches were becoming worse, as well as the dizziness and OMFG, the extreme fatigue. Bottom line is – it’s all a result of being anemic, having hypothyroidism and my newly dx of  pre-hypertension. The doctor got on me during the exam and had the nerve to say “yeah right” after asking me, as I was leaving, if I were going to see my primary doctor. I had responded with “yes” and “I promise” which prompted the – yeah right – from him. I totally get where he was coming from though. We never tend to do something until it’s gotten so far out of hand that there’s nothing left to do. Considering my father had a pace-maker and later died from a heart attack. Shit is getting real.

Continue reading “After Years of Neglect…”

I’m Fat…

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Ive told myself that a time or two in regards to the picture above..

I purposely bought some clothes, hoping that Id get down to where I feel comfy in being – weight wise. Im not there – YET!

I almost cried today while trying on some clothes because point blank….

IM FAT AND IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!

Im ALL for self empowerment and the empowerment of others but I also don’t like sugar coating anything either. I completely understand there are issues (personal and medical) that can cause weight gain and also make it difficult to lose weight as I suffer from hypothyroidism. I also know that not exercising, not drinking water and eating JUNK can AND will contribute to one being overweight.

When I met my now husband, I wore “sexy” things for him. I was always presentable as well, even before I met him. When you start packing on the weight, it changes you. Now I don’t feel comfortable at all wearing those ‘sexy” things. Im always in an old t-shirt and shorts. I became THAT wife and woman. I have to do better. I want to do better but right now I don’t have the motivation – at.all. Mainly because Im idle and stuck at home until we get a second car. I know I can work out at home but Im one of those that needs the structure of being in a gym, which is hard to get to at the moment.

Im not going to give up. I know I have it in me to get to where I want to be because Im honest with myself in regards to being fat. I know how I feel when I don’t have the weight packed on me. Not just physically but emotionally as well. I wrote a post in June in regards to what Im writing about now, so it’s pretty obvious that it’s something that’s bothering me: Fitness

Yes, I know all about “fat shaming” which is not what my post is about. If anyone takes offense to what I wrote, then oh well because that’s not my intent

Today Was A Good Day!

I became a (step)grandma last night to a beautiful, healthy baby boy named Marcus. I will post pictures soon

I signed up for The Color Run today (cost was $30.00) that’s going to be held on the 4th of July.  I even ordered my tutu.

I received my address for my adoptive soldier

I filled out my FASFA today. I keep saying Im going to return to school next year but whose to say I will still be alive and kicking? Ive decided to return this August. I will take only 2 classes at this time.

Im looking forward to painting a well known bridge here to raise awareness on rape

Im looking forward to my non planned outings with my husband. I’m going to step way out my comfort zone and be a bit more spontaneous with him

Im having my first, well second appt. with the fitness instructor next week. I sent him a picture via email and he stated he worked with someone who accomplished what Im wanting to with dedication and hard work. It’s surely going to be tough but I have Faith that I can and WILL do this. Would be nice to fit into the cute clothes I bought, in smaller sizes on purpose.

All in all

Today Was A Good Day